Hi Shaina, So he’s best known for writing hard boiled detective fiction like The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye with lines like “Dead men are heavier than broken hearts” 😁
Dashiell Hammett is another author with a similar style 👍🏼
I love these stories that you seem to gravitate to, the lone protagonist in jeopardy in wide open space. Most of us feel a somewhat romantic aura associated with these spaces. The ' wouldn't it be nice to have a piece of that space to ourselves' romanticism you make clash with the reality that there are scary things out there where we can't see them. Couple that with the damaged protagonist desperately trying to save themselves or someone else makes for a good adrenaline mainline! I don't think I want this to wind up in 2 parts. Feels like there are a lot more options and conflict to explore between the boy and the rancher, and the question of survival on several levels. I think that's why such universal agreement about that last paragraph...
Frank I so appreciate you reading my writing. Truly. Thank you for commenting so thoughtfully and consistently. It means a lot! I am that romantic, the one always wanting to go away somewhere into the wilderness. But I spend quite a bit of time outside, and in all that beauty there is a distinct feeling I get from the natural world. We are so small in wild places, part of something much bigger than ourselves. That is exhilarating, and totally frightening. The trees don't care about what happens to me. The animals see me as predator or prey. We are almost alien in those places anymore. Friendless. Sometimes that makes me sad. Other times I accept it gladly. Either way, I'm always happy to get back home.
Shaina, your response certainly added dimension to where I had gone after reading this first part. My perspective just took a giant leap beyond just the human view point! How miniscule and short sighted I was until you really pulled back the curtain. Feels like a WoW moment!
Spooky chills running down my spine. Gripping supsense building, and you really create the atmosphere. The only thing I'd change is the last paragraph. That's the author stepping in to give a hint about what lies ahead. I'd keep it up in the air. We already know the wolf wouldn't kill in that fashion and probably have a suspicion what does.
Very well paced and foreboding. I particularly liked those moments when the reader can’t know what to expect next like “When the boy found him two hours later...” Was the man to be found dead or alive? Subtle but effective.
Creepy indeed, from the description of the mutilated cattle to the knowing that something's out there that's not a wolf. Half-expected Clive to meet the same fate as his herd when he went out there alone at night.
So so good, Shaina. Sucked into this immediately. Perfect vibes, the unnerving sense of the unknown, the refusal of Clive to believe what he's really seeing. Fantastic character building across so few words. Loved it and cannot wait for part 2!
I love it!! Definitely some Skinwalker Ranch vibes, which is sooo creepy. I can’t wait to see what’s next!
Skinwalker Ranch has got to be one of the scariest paranormal tales I've ever heard.
You know I meant to write this in my comment, too.
I listened to an excellent deep dive documentary on YouTube about Skinwalker recently. Was quite informative/amusing.
I’ve only seen the Netflix documentary, I’ll have to look for the YouTube one. That place is bonkers.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwNrNqsuwF1kvkSq6l8jPbzgFBmjw8ASb&si=McVxviTpuKbHCEG6
Would love to spend some time there, just to see.
So much!
That was great Shaina 👍🏼
A creepy tale of spooky going’s on, that even a hard bitten old cowboy can’t explain.
Really enjoyed the line, “He waited, looking at each cigarette like they were women in a bar” which was like something from Raymond Chandler
Looking forward to the next instalment
Thank you Daniel! Had to look up Raymond Chandler. I've never read him. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi Shaina, So he’s best known for writing hard boiled detective fiction like The Big Sleep and The Long Goodbye with lines like “Dead men are heavier than broken hearts” 😁
Dashiell Hammett is another author with a similar style 👍🏼
I love these stories that you seem to gravitate to, the lone protagonist in jeopardy in wide open space. Most of us feel a somewhat romantic aura associated with these spaces. The ' wouldn't it be nice to have a piece of that space to ourselves' romanticism you make clash with the reality that there are scary things out there where we can't see them. Couple that with the damaged protagonist desperately trying to save themselves or someone else makes for a good adrenaline mainline! I don't think I want this to wind up in 2 parts. Feels like there are a lot more options and conflict to explore between the boy and the rancher, and the question of survival on several levels. I think that's why such universal agreement about that last paragraph...
Frank I so appreciate you reading my writing. Truly. Thank you for commenting so thoughtfully and consistently. It means a lot! I am that romantic, the one always wanting to go away somewhere into the wilderness. But I spend quite a bit of time outside, and in all that beauty there is a distinct feeling I get from the natural world. We are so small in wild places, part of something much bigger than ourselves. That is exhilarating, and totally frightening. The trees don't care about what happens to me. The animals see me as predator or prey. We are almost alien in those places anymore. Friendless. Sometimes that makes me sad. Other times I accept it gladly. Either way, I'm always happy to get back home.
Shaina, your response certainly added dimension to where I had gone after reading this first part. My perspective just took a giant leap beyond just the human view point! How miniscule and short sighted I was until you really pulled back the curtain. Feels like a WoW moment!
Exciting! Very good writing. Can't wait for Part 2!
Thanks for reading!
This was spooky. Glad it's not night. I have all day to forget this story!
Spooky chills running down my spine. Gripping supsense building, and you really create the atmosphere. The only thing I'd change is the last paragraph. That's the author stepping in to give a hint about what lies ahead. I'd keep it up in the air. We already know the wolf wouldn't kill in that fashion and probably have a suspicion what does.
Thanks for that comment Virginia! I felt unsure about that last paragraph. So kill it I shall!
Only if YOU think you should.
Of course, but when your first reader thinks the thing you thought they might think, it’s a sign 😂
Very well paced and foreboding. I particularly liked those moments when the reader can’t know what to expect next like “When the boy found him two hours later...” Was the man to be found dead or alive? Subtle but effective.
I don't want to say it's Aliens....But!
“He waited, looking at each cigarette like they were women in a bar.” - great simile here that fits the character.
Also, I hope hope hope hope hope this turns out to be a werewolf story.
Creepy indeed, from the description of the mutilated cattle to the knowing that something's out there that's not a wolf. Half-expected Clive to meet the same fate as his herd when he went out there alone at night.
So so good, Shaina. Sucked into this immediately. Perfect vibes, the unnerving sense of the unknown, the refusal of Clive to believe what he's really seeing. Fantastic character building across so few words. Loved it and cannot wait for part 2!